True feelings are redemptive, creative, and have the power to heal. Thought, and more specifically, rapid, habitual thought processes anchor us to the old paradigm, and trap us in the past. I discovered this most powerfully when I was in my early 20's.
After having had a nervous breakdown while I was in university, I crawled back home to the Philippines, feeling desperate, isolated, lost. At the age of 20, I felt tired. But why?
I went to a monastery to attend a silent retreat. I was out of answers, so I opened my mind to any solution that presented itself, my mom had planned to attend with her friends, so I decided to tag along.
While there, I was standing in the garden one day, looking out onto the rice fields surrounding the monastery. I remember thinking, God, I don't know whether you exist or not, but please, help me. Then silence. There was a silence that replaced me, replaced all stream of thought. I saw everything around me, as if I and it, were all one. All trees, all grass, sky, monastery, garden, everything was itself. There was no "me" per se, just this energy that was manifest, infused with a sense of infinite intelligence, infinite light, infinite power.
All thoughts stopped. There was no sense of a 'mind' from where questions could even arise. It was as though I was everything, and everything was known, No questions, no sense of anything, could arise in that state, it just was. And the feeling that it left me with, after the moment of 'awakening' passed, was a peace and understanding I had never known before.
Subsequently, it took me time to piece together what had happened. What it meant, for me as a human walking this earth, with a mind, a body, feelings, fears, emotions, a sense of a past and future. But from that moment on, I knew I was different, forever changed. How had I changed? I was living in the reality of God-consciousness. A new paradigm. A physical, linear reality, where thoughts, rooted in the idea of a person with a mind separate from everything, could no longer hold.
I have since discovered a 'how-to-process' that mimics this state that I was graced with at the monastery that day. It is a process of letting go of the first thought, breaking the mind-pattern, the illusion of separation, and reuniting with the presence that is, always, everything, and now. It is a state of being, of feeling, creating, and expanding, in synchronicity with the infinite intelligence that is Reality, manifest.
That is what this process is all about. Discovering the true self.
#feeling #new paradigm #manifesting #healing