One of the topics I come across quite often, which was a huge hurdle on my own spiritual awakening journey – are repetitive, fear-based thoughts. Ironically, one would think that after having a spiritual awakening, that these thoughts would simply go away. And that may happen for some, but in my experience, the more aware I became, the more intense these toxic and habitual thought patterns became. It was as if my mind turned against me, and had declared war on the awakening process.
The natural response was to make the mind an enemy. To discount it. I did whatever I could to distract myself, thinking that I could find peace by pushing it away. But in fact, all that these thought patterns, these emotions, were pointing to was a need for deeper awareness.
What the mind, and these thoughts are demanding of us – is to really look. We are taking on a new, important role, and that is to be the Witnesser – the observer of our thoughts, our feelings, our responses. To go deeper into each experience, each feeling, and to be present with ourselves. Through this witnessing, we are in fact, changing the very cellular structure of our observation. We are, in fact, channeling infinite intelligence, through our awareness of the present moment. In so doing, this intelligence creates new containers for our mind, thoughts, and soul, to play in. Hence, we are in the process of ushering in a new paradigm, not just for ourselves, but for the collective.
It is important to note, that judgement has no place during this process – if we feed our judgement, by engaging and believing and placing attention on these judgments - it simply impedes this process of transformation – as our judgments are rooted in false (and historical) belief systems, and they arise from the ego – which by its very nature, does not recognize “the light” of Spirit/higher intelligence.
In fact, what this awakening process may feel like to the ego – is that we are regressing, or descending into chaos. But the truth is – we have entered into a phase of initiation and transformation – which means that we are shedding layers of false beliefs, old identities and habitual thought patterns that we may not even be aware of yet. These thoughts give us a clue into what needs to be healed, transmuted, and witnessed. You, consciousness, you - awareness, are the alchemist on this journey. Trust that this process is changing you in ways that your thoughts cannot yet comprehend – but there is a steady, silent knowing within you that is steering, moment by moment.