Updated: Oct 5, 2021
When I first began to learn about the law of attraction, I was amazed at this power I had stumbled onto. I had had inklings of the ability to manifest. Growing up, I noticed that something I focused on with obsessive intensity, through fantasy and dreaming up ideal scenarios, would materialize. It may take a few days, months, and sometimes years but I would watch as what was happening inside of me, would out-pour onto my external reality.
It was not until my moment of awakening in the monastery in my early 20's that I began to understand, beyond intellect, why such a power exists. What I became aware of that day, is that the power that makes reality manifest, in infinite ways and possibilities, is not separate from anything or anyone. Not only did I witness this, but I became one with it. It was also at this point, that I became frightened of what this meant. Because the power that can dream up beautiful things, can also dream up nightmares.
Hence I began what I can only describe as my trip down the rabbit hole of psyche. I began to study and explore the inner workings of my mind. I could not grasp nor understand yet, at that point, why I felt so helpless against the darker aspects of my mind. I wanted to go deeper, to understand why, the root cause, where these thoughts and emotions were coming from. I set out to clear and clean out the skeletons in my closet, those that were planted as seeds from childhood, as well as those that may have been rooted in past lives.